This weekend was the Highland Games 5 miler in Antigonish, NS. I didn’t really intend to write this blog but then it was born out of a collection of texts with a few of the Love Training More runners who I coach and a conversation with my father and #1 fan in which he was roaring laughing. So here it is.
The Highland Games Road Race is summer classic on the road racing circuit for my running club, the Halifax Road Hammers. This was my 3rd time running this race which I love for:
- it’s unique distance (5 miles = 8.04km);
- the team camaraderie and team experience. I love rolling into a race with 20+ teammates for warm up fun, starting chute pump up wishes, finish congrats plus a team BBQ at Coach Lee’s family stead.
- and the unique course features includes a long and out back for which to see your teammates, a start and finish on the track and three sightings of my kids. It’s one of the few races that my kids come to, thanks for my Coach’s mother who keeps them with her on the sidelines (Gertie, you are the best!).
After my June 22 Chase the Pace 5000m flop, I needed to re-jig my race game and I spent some time thinking about how to do this.
First, I needed to change my inner dialogue. Instead of telling myself that I am not good at the short distance of 5km, I need to spent more of my inner dialogue telling myself that I believe I will meet my goals.
I love 5 milers and I line up like this. Loving 5 miles. I clue in to the fact that this matters.
With the choice to change my inner dialogue made, I make a few more choices.
Instead of choosing to focus on all of the things that I haven’t done: the long runs I haven’t had a chance to complete. The workouts that I haven’t run fast in. Instead of focusing on these, I choose to focus on the things that I have done.
Instead of wishing that my fitness was somewhere else, I choose instead to be confident about where I am. I have a conversation with a friend about racing in a sports bra only, which I intend to do in my new Road Hammer bra. I say that it isn’t about fitness or speed or physique or abs or your post-mama belly; it’s about confidence.
Instead of thinking about I don’t have in relation to my racing, I choose to think about what I do have.
Highland Games:
I line up with these choices at Highland Games. Independent of the time on clock, I wanted a race effort where I was fierce; where I didn’t think about quitting and where I didn’t give up. I got all of those things plus the bonus of a wonderful Road Hammer team experience and “Go Mommy!!” cheers from my kids. You can hear their sweet voices in this video, much to my delight.
The race:
I was all in. I was relaxed and careful early and let my body tell me how it felt and how fast to run. I was racing as planned with Donald Holder, the fastest of all of the athletes who I coach; my bestie Shauna; and surprise guest Erin MacLean. It was wonderful to turn off some and just run as a pack.
At 2.5km I went from “I am relaxed and so strong” to feeling some fatigue creep in and we were on the soft, wet, loose and muddy trail. I told myself that I felt exactly like I am supposed to and that I am fine. I didn’t let up.
I did the turnaround cone as best as I could and took 4 quick steps coming off it. This was my slowest split at 4:05/km but not terrible.
I remember very little of the rest of the race. When my group’s pace let up a bit, I said “keep on it,” and I pulled away a bit. Then I started repeating, “take a risk.” I told myself that I would not blow up.
“Take a risk. Take a risk. Take a risk.”
I wondered where the jesus end of the trail was (it’s comes at about 1400m to go).
I was elated when Donald pulled back up to me and then dropped me with 1200m to go.
My last km was in slow motion and pain-soaked and the last 300m on the soggy wet dirt track at Memorial field felt like running on smashed up, wet birthday cake and cookie crumble but it wasn’t slower. It was simply the last km.
Afterwards, many of my Road Hammer friends were talking about how bad the trail was (3 miles on Antigonish Landing Trail), how they were worried about footing and ankles and watching runners ahead of them and their footing. I remember nothing of this. I never thought about the trail. I was simply running on it. I was only thinking about running as aggressively as possible.
Donald had a rival in the race who started ahead of us. Donald said to let him go and pay no mind to him, we’ll probably catch him later.
After the race, I asked Donald how the rival did:
“Erin, you passed him at about 6km. I thought you got a big boost because you started running faster!”
No memory.
“Erin, he’s like 6 and a half feet tall and had no shirt on. You passed him!” (this was what my father thought was so funny).
Still no memory. There’s nothing but running and “take a risk.”
I don’t always get myself into that zone. The after-the-fact view of the zone = pleasure.
The final time of 32:46 (4:00/km) is >90 seconds off my time from 2 years ago (31:13) and that’s ok. I’ve had a lot of stuff in 2 years. I don’t need or want to be in peak fitness right now. That’s for September.
This was the well-executed race that I wanted and needed.
I am thanking my choices leading in. I will use them again for the next race. Some of the success in racing comes from paying attention to what works, memorizing it and harnessing it again.
I tell the athletes who I coach that I can’t tell them exactly what will work for them in pursuit of mental fierceness. If I could, I would and I would become a wildly successful running coach. Instead, we pay attention to the runs and especially the bad ones and learn from what helps up get through them so we can use that in the next tough running moment.
So on we run in pursuit of more mental fierceness. And for me, some wonderful vacation running on PEI this week.
