Never Give Up: A sub19 5km, 6 years in the making

The A-goal of my summer 2019 racing schedule was a brand new Prince Edward Island race called “Run Under the Star,” taking place on the Confederation Bridge at midnight, Friday night, August 8 which is actually Saturday.  The race was the opening event of the Congres Mondial Acadien. I love racing on my native PEI. My pal Andrew, the man behind Maritime Runner, pointed out this month that I might actually be faster on PEI, haha. I loved the idea of racing under the stars and I had never run on the bridge before. This seemed like an ideal fast running set up.

I have been trying to break through the 19 minute 5km barrier for SIX YEARS!!! If you are a fast woman, the 20-minute barrier is first.  The 19 minute barrier is next.

I first came close at the 2013 Lung Run while running under the incomparable Cliff Matthews.   Since that day I have been: slowly chipping away; coming up short; sometimes painfully short by 1-2 seconds; progressing; regressing; running uncertified questionably long courses with the exact 3:47/km pace required to break 19, unsuccessfully. For 6 years. Look at this 5km data (online race results for the win). 

2019:  19:19 (Shubie Classic), 19:45 (Blue Nose), 19:42 (Lobster), ___ (Run Under the Star)

2018: 19:43 (Blue Nose), 19:42 (Chase the Pace), 19:10 (Cox and Palmer), 19:27 (Windsor 5km), 19:06 (Gold Cup, Garmin pace 3:47/km), 19:17 (MRW Sunset)

2017: 19:08 (Osprey), 19:41 (Deltaware),  19:44 (Cox and Palmer), 19:47 (MRW Sunset)

2016: 19:05 (Penguin), 19:02 (Muffin)

2015: 20:19 (Penguin), 19:37 (Windsor) then worked on a sub-40 10km for rest of year.

2014: baby # 2 is born

2013: 19:09 (Lung Run)  

Over the last six years, especially the last two years, I wondered from time to time I would ever get to know what it would feel like to cross the line sub19. As I lined up this August, I had not set a PB since February 2018 and this was a 12 second PB in the Indoor 3000m. Prior to that, last PB April 2017. That’s a long drought.

Race night: Coming into Friday night race night, I was determined that I would not come up short again.  I was so determined that this was going to be it.  

I drove to the Bryden’s cottage in Victoria to meet my Road Hammer crew @ 8:30pm.  The conditions were as near perfect as they get.

As I was driving, I was telling myself:

I WILL DO THIS tonight.  No question.  

I will not fail.  I believe that I can do it.  It’s happening.

After all of those failed attempts. 

Ok, I know that all of those attempts weren’t “failures.” They were stepping stones and learnings etc. The struggle was real. Nonetheless: I was determined that there would be no failures tonight.  

One of the greatest pleasures of not working during the summer has been being with my children from morning to night, watching them experience the world.  My 5 year old has organically starting telling himself: “I never give up. I never give up,” over and over again while he’s working on a task.  At the beach, on the day of this race, he was working on a large hole that kept falling in on him.

“I never give up,” he whispered to himself as he dug.  

On the way home, I asked him about what difference it made when he said, “I never give up.”  He told me that it helped him to do what he was working on if it was hard. I asked him where he learned to say that.  He wasn’t sure. Maybe in a song? I asked him if he thought I should say that to myself in my nighttime race.

“Yup!” He says.  “It will help you do it too, Mommy.”

So back to race night: I will never give up. I have some relax time with the Bryden bros Will and Patrick and their mom Lea. We drive to Borden to meet Michael and Jennie and to sort out the bussing situation to the bridge. In Borden, night has fallen and the atmosphere is electric.

Warm up: After our yellow school bus deposits us on the Confederation Bridge, 4 of us start our easy warm up running, in the direction of New Brunswick. We run in the middle of the closed and empty bridge. The moon is bright in the sky. The stars are out and I’ve already glimpsed one shooting star. I can hardly believe we are doing this.  We are so lucky to live this moment together: myself, Michael, Jennie and Will.  Patrick is at the 13km start line with his mother.

Will and I line up confidently on the line. Along with Michael and that’s it. The rest of the field hangs back.

Here’s the kilometers break down. I like my Garmin lap splits better than the splits that Strava rounded out.

1km: Thoughts: Own it. Relax. This one is for me. Split 3:45.3

2km: For my daughter. Keep on it. Split 3:45.9

If I am doing t right, the first km is relaxed and you feel pretty good and in control and all amped up on start line adrenaline. In the second km, it’s work. Not yet pain but work. I was ready and I was prepared and I knew I felt like I should. 

3km: For my son. I slip into a mantra “I never give up” and these words stay on repeat. That’s almost all that was in my head. It’s so hard. But I can do hard. I will never give up. I checked my watch every 4 light poles or so to make sure I wasn’t letting up my accident. I wasn’t.

During this km, I have long passed the water stop. I can no longer see Will and Michael ahead of me. There is not a single other human in sight, just me, the moon, the wide open empty bridge road. I feel like a total badass hammering down the bridge as fast as possible. I will do this by myself, for myself. Badass.

Split 3:45.7

4km: my 5km favorite and often fastest km. With “I never give up” on repeat, I let ‘er rip. I am aggressive. I have been running fast in Road Hammer workout. I’m not afraid of the sub3:40 on my watch. Km 5 is “Later Erin”’s problem, I run this one that I am in. 

Split 3:37.5

5km: I never give up. I have a drill sergeant yelling form cues in my brain. I don’t even know who’s voice it is. I recall at one point “push pop”-ing so hard that I am way too airborne. Dial that back, girl. There is still potential to blow it here by imploding.  If I run a 4:15/km by accident, I will blow it.

I. WILL. NOT. blow it.

“I never give up.” 

I know Michael is somewhere. He has completed his race already, he is supposed to be on the finish stretch to angry-yell at me. I see the line, I hear him. He’s counting the time on the clock for me and yelling at me to hammer it hard. 18:05. 18:20 Erin, GOOO!

Sweet running mother god, I am really truly going to do it.

I cross the line in a joyful push-pop-hammer-all-the-damn-way stride with a HR of 189.

18:38. 

Barrier gone. With authority. 

The finish line feels are just what I imagined: glory.  When thinking about the number of years that went into that one moment of crossing the line sub19… the moment was: glory.

There are two young journalists here trying to talk to me as female winner and I am practically hugging them like a lunatic because I am just so: all the feels.

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How did it finally happen? Six years later? In the great Eliud Kipchoge’s words: I was different this time.  My mind WAS different.  

I kept showing up. I talked with my coach Lee and we agreed: stay the course, keep showing up.

The race and the thanks: This race is first class.  Especially if you are an Islander, you must run the Bridge at midnight under the stars and moon. It’s an extraordinary experience.  The organization was on point. The race kit came in PEI potato bags- so cute. Runners were bussed to the bridge seamlessly. Atlantic Chip’s finish line at midnight was super cool. The post-race bash was excellent. There was a live band and steaming plates of mussels for runners!  The prize for winning the female race was a Confederation Bridge pass, sweet prize!

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Thanks to the organizers, the volunteers and Troy and co at Atlantic Chip.

Thanks to my mother who helped with my children so that I would pull off a midnight run and has helped with childcare for many other runs. Thanks to my husband, our partnership is what enables me to train. Thanks to Coach Lee. And thanks to every single of my training partners who have run next to me over the last 6 years and to the Love Training More athletes who I coach that have helped me keep my enthusiasm and inspiration plentiful.

Here is Maritime Runner’s write-up of the race. And here is the Journal Pioneer (Summerside, PEI Newspaper)’s article about the race.

Full race results on Atlantic Chip are here.

Thanks for reading. Sending you all wishes to “keep showing up” and “never give up.”