Natal Day ’19: Be Your Best in this Moment (again).

Monday August 5 was the 113th edition of the Dartmouth Natal Day Road Race.  I line up for this road race every year possible. This year, my goal is to live up to words that appear in previous blog posts. They are the great Deena Kastor’s words: “Be Your Best in this Moment.”

Here’s the way it unfolded.

I arrived at the race with my sister Kristen.  I loved a post made by pal Heather this week: “If you have a sister, you always have a friend.”  For us, if you have a sister, you always have a best friend. Since I don’t work in the summer, I’ve been focused on playing with my young children.  As I mingled with my fellow Halifax Road Hammers on the lawn of the Christ Church in Dartmouth, I had this thought that it was my turn to play. There’s an amazing atmosphere at this race, unlike any other local race.  It’s the one road race that everyone tries to show up to. The field is often deep. Most of your run friends are there.  It’s like a summer running festival.

First up was warm up with my Halifax Road Hammer pals.  We were a group of 10 strong and we did a gentle loop of the 2 mile course.  During which, it was confirmed that pal Rami, looking for a pacing job, would run with Maura and I.  Maura and I race together when it works, side by side, no talking, just #bettertogether. This is featured in several of my past race recaps like Windsor 2018, Natal Day 2018.  

This is both a 2 mile and a 6 mile race. After the 2 mile race began, Run Nova Scotia’s Nancy Holland called “the elite runners” into the starting corral first. That’s always a boost for me.  In we went. This start line is tight so I lined up right behind Paula on the line with my Elite Bib 006. There was some positive chatter from the guys around us that Maura and I’s bibs were higher so we should be ahead of these fast guys.  It’s our race too and our gun time matters the same. 

I did do some race planning beforehand. The 6 mile course is 3 x 2mile loops. I was going to divide my race into 3 laps.  The first lap was for me and I would run relaxed. The second lap was for my 7 year old daughter and I was going to run with her fierceness, confidence and determination. The final lap would be for my 5 year old son I would run with the wild reckless abandon that he approaches every life adventure with.  I would “be the storm” here (#lovetrainingmore). On warm up, I asked Road Hammer friend Britney if she was going to tuck in behind Maura and I. She declines, citing a wish to be more cautious. I have a little laugh. My race approach trends more towards aggressive than cautious. It doesn’t always work out for me.  But sometimes the day is magic and it does. I often like to take that risk. 

Loop One: I fall into step next to Rami with Maura tucked in behind us. I run relaxed.  It’s a good lap.  

We approach East Coast Running Tim and it’s a good laugh as I see Sneaky Rami trying to pull off this race photobomb in our shadows on the ground.  The smile powers me up the Ochterloney Climb. We split through right where I would like to be. Paula is leading. A young gal Emily is in second. Chloe went out hard in third.  Maura and I together in 4th and 5th. 

Loop Two: I feel so good on this lap and it’s exciting.  With my daughter on my mind, I climb around Sullivan’s Pond and it’s good.  I lose contact with Rami and Maura as I press ahead at 3 miles and it’s ok. I can run this solo. Maura said later that she wasn’t feel good from the first steps of race.  I start to play cat and mouse with my Hammer pal Colin. This is good. Chloe is coming back to me and I work on closing the gap.

We turn onto Ochterloney and Chloe comes back farther and I capitalize.  I made a split second decision to pass her on this climb and I attempt to do it with authority, fuelled by the cheers from many pals on the sidelines.  I pull into what I believe is third place.

Loop Three: Showtime.  The lap you wait for. I firmly place an image of my wild son bombing down the bike trail on his bicycle. This is no longer a “run this pace for this time race,” it’s a tactical race for place. I feel exactly like I should at mile 4 of a tough 6 mile race: not great, somewhat fatigued, but I’m not gassed yet.  Once I crest the hump at Hawthorne Street, I start focusing on putting as much distance between Chloe and myself as possible. I feel decent now, this is where I will try to hold onto 3rd place. I think I’m with Colin here. I’m not sure.

Friends along the course are cheering “Go Erin!” and “Go Chloe.”  By about 8km, I can’t hear anyone cheering for Chloe anymore. I don’t dare waste time looking back.  I must have her.  

Along Alderney, I do have a struggle hammering it all the 100% way. I have another race on Friday.  I don’t back off but it’s not full steam pain box. I turn onto Ochterloney for the final climb. I am gassed.  “Just get to the top.” And then in a blue flash, Chloe rockets by me as if she has just started the race. SHE does it with authority.  Tonya is yelling at me to respond. There’s nothing. I burned all of my gears a mile ago trying to put that space in between us. She gets me by 6 seconds.  Final time 39:50, 3rd female, 34th overall. Full results are here.

Chloe and I hug tightly once I’m done hanging over the fence.  It was a great epic battle. We both ran faster because of it. And then we learn from Stacy that we were 2nd and 3rd, not 3rd and 4th like we thought.  Young Emily Clarke had fallen off and in the melee of 2 miler runners, we didn’t notice.  

I feel jubilant.  Third place at Natal Day. It’s a wonderful race feeling.  I feel it deeply for the joy that it is. I was my best in this moment. The time on the clock doesn’t matter.  I went for it. I raced my friend as hard as possible. We both made it on the podium. That’s my best in this moment in time.

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Sure, I know what I’ve done in previous years.  In 2016, I ran 38:04 here for a 3rd place podium finish.  In 2018, I ran 39:43 for 8th female. I’m writing these performances here as I am aware of them but they have no impact on how this performance feels for me.  I graciously thanked every person who said, “great job today!” I believe it. 

It can be hard not to get caught up in comparing yourself to others.  Social media platforms like Strava can fuel this. I get caught up in this from time to time. I can feel really good about a performance but then slide into looking at what a handful of faster women like Paula, Denise, Rayleen, Heather, Emily etc are achieving.  I don’t need to do that though. It’s not helpful. I’m not them. I am me. There’s always someone faster than you unless you are Eliud Kipchoge. And why do we always look forward anyway? Take Natal Day Road Race, where I was 3rd female and 34th overall. There were 314 people behind me: men and women.  If you spend all that time looking forward, how about looking back too.

Like, you know when you race a marathon and get back to work and everyone is congratulating you and instead of saying, “thank you!” and feeling proud, you say something like, “oh it was too hot, I was 5 minutes off my time goal” or “I missed by BQ by 60 seconds because the course was so hilly etc.”  Those congratulating people don’t care about your 5 minutes or your 60 seconds, they just think you are amazing because you ran a freaking marathon. 

I’m as glad today for achieving these feelings of satisfaction and happiness  as I am for the age class award and the “podium” photo next to the trophy. I sometimes make it to 80% satisfied.  Sometimes 90%. Today, it’s 100%.  

Running will continue to dish out the lessons if you are willing to lace up, listen and look for them.  I had a fleeting thought this week of, “oh god, another glorious/mind-numbing 6 miler on this hill-filled hell loop, won’t it be same as all of the others?”  But it’s actually never the same. You are never the same. There’s always growth if you are willing to try to find it. 

Huge thanks to Dave Nevitt and Fast Running Company for another amazing edition of Natal Day Road Race along with all of the volunteers, especially Nick T, for making this event the success that it is.  Thanks for Atlantic Chip and Run Nova Scotia and to Tim for the awesome race photos.  

Wishing you all the luck in your personal quest to be your best in this moment and thanks for reading.

And thanks to my Halifax Road Hammer pals for the Summer Running Festival Fun.