*for now but still holding onto a glimmer of hope
Every week, I consider abandoning this blog. I think about why I am writing and for who. For me? For readers? For fun? This week, a girl that I sit on a committee with and see maybe once every two months told me that she is pregnant, is a runner and went on my blog last night and appreciated it. So here I am, another week, another entry.
Weeks of Pregnancy: 27
Weekly mileage: 0
On January 24, exactly 3 months from my due date, I marked the official end of my visions of having a perfect and easy pregnancy.
The delusion of “easy” actually started to slip away the Wednesday before, the day I did my last run. A crappy 3km affair when I just didn’t feel right or comfortable. It was my body, my pelvis, that didn’t feel right. Not the baby. The baby is perfect and fine.
I had pain along the seam in the back of my pelvis where the ilium and sacrum join- along the entire length of the SI joint. Instead of getting better, like it would from the stress of a hard run, day after day it kept getting worse and worse, despite no running since that Wednesday 3km. I cleaned the bathroom on Sunday and limped for a few hours after. Getting in and out of the car was crazy painful. I would limping after. Rolling over in bed hurt. Always a bony joint pain. Not cool.
So, long story short, a few trusted people advised me to go to the doctor as nothing should hurt all day long during pregnancy. My wonderful obstetrician confirmed what I was concerned about.
Two bones in my pelvis, the sacrum + ilium, have started to separate. She says this happens occasionally during pregnancy and usually begins between 25 + 27 weeks. It’s probably not related to running. It happens due to pregnancy hormones. Cuses significant pain (no shit). There’s not really much that can be done for this. I can go to physio. I can hope that it settles.
If this settles, then I will decide if I want to try to run again, understanding it might separate again. My doc told me that this would be up to me. Physio says that if it settles and there’s no pain for 7 days, then we can make a running decision. My running coach says something else. Right now, I don’t really care about running as I can’t even lie in bed comfortably. Sigh, such is pregnant life. The baby is 100% fine which is the only thing that really matters to me.
I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t at least a little disappointed. In fact, I’m going to give myself permission to feel bad for myself for a few days. You don’t have to tell me to think about how the baby is healthy or how 12 weeks isn’t very long at all. I know these things. Right now, I want to feel bad for myself.
As I consider not running for 3 months, I feel like one of my best friends is moving away for 3 months. I wanted to be the girl who ran until she was 9 months pregnant; the girl that went for a run the day before her delivery. I wanted to do this, not to impress other people, but because running is something that I love and I’ve loved sharing it with the baby growing inside me. It’s just what I wanted to do.
Running also met a somewhat selfish need. I don’t walk around obsessing about what people think about me but at 6 months pregnant, I’m quite aware that when people look at me, all they see is a pregnant woman. When I’m running, I don’t feel pregnant. I don’t feel my 16 pound baby bump. Running let me just be myself: a runner, who happened to be pregnant. Not just a pregnant woman.
But as Mick Jagger taught us, you can’t always get what you want.
But if you try sometimes, well you just might find, you get what you need.
I love the baby more than I love running. More than I want to run, I want a happy and healthy baby and I am blessed to have that.
13 Responses
Sorry to hear you’ve had to stop running. The bone separation sounds painful – hopefully the pain eases soon. I’d be disappointed too if I was in your shoes.
It’s funny, I was singing “you can’t always get what you want” in my kitchen this morning – but it had to do with wanting the weekend to go on for longer 🙂
Hey Marcelle, thanks for your words. I think I’m mostly over being disappointed, I just wish there was some certainty. I wish I knew if this was going to last for the next 12 weeks or if it would resolve in, say, 12 days. We’ll see.
Ouch Erin!!! I hope that your pain eases soon! I am so sorry to hear that the running has stopped… hang in there pregnant (non-running) runner!
thanks Mel. Am moving in the right direction but nowhere close to running again yet.
Hi there, I am 27 weeks pregnant and still running, although every week I do less and get slower as my body does it’s own thing. I had pain like that at 34 weeks and thought that was it so went swimming for a week and rested a bit more and then it adjusted itself again. Trust your own body, only you know what it can do and when you need to rest. Running certainly makes the time pass quicker, makes me feel happy and gives me a great short break from the other children. Hope you feel better soon, there’s no other sport comes close to that feeling you have after a good run.
Joan
hi Joan, thanks so much for reading and taking the time to share your experience. After 19 days off running, I’ve done 2 runs this week- am hopeful that things have settled and I’ll manage running slower and less volume for the next 11 weeks. Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
Hey Erin,
You inspire me! I was touched to see that I motivated you to continue to write!
I went for a very slow and steady 5 km tonight and thought of you.
I see from your other comments that you are feeling better.
See you soon, in another meeting or on the sidewalks of Halifax 🙂
Hi there, I’m 23 weeks pregnant and up until 7 days ago was running pain free thinking my pregnancy was great. BAM so much pain it hurts to do anything. Did yours last the rest of your pregnancy?
hi, thanks for reading and for your comments. Sorry so long to reply, new mom and all 🙂 I took, I think 2.5 or 3 weeks off running to let my SI joint heal and then was able to run again from 29ish to 33.5 weeks- for me at 33.5 weeks, the discomfort was no longer worth it. I had to rest a few weeks and then walked up until my delivery. In fact, was out walking when I went into labour at 39.5 weeks. Best of luck to you.
…just left a comment but i have another one :-)…when you injured your si joint did you have trouble walking, almost debilitating for a week or so? just did the same and I can’t even walk and it has been 6 days since I hurt it jogging. I just worry that I caused more damage? Not sure how I could do that but I do have a tendency to push it with long 2 hr walks daily act (just makes me feel good!)- I even wore a support belt while walking and jogging!? so frustrated. I just hope it’s just the pelvis separating and that all will be fine once baby arrives..
Thanks for sharing this! How are things going now with your SI joint postpartum? I was lucky enough to run past my due date with my son (delivered three weeks ago) but suffered a SI separation and I’m now immobile and working with a PT. hoping you’re back out running with no pain. I’d love a little hope!
so sorry to hear this, Caroline. I stopped running at 33.5 weeks and then began running again at 3 weeks postpartum- completely pain free. My daughter is almost 8 months old, I’ve been running pain free since her birth and did a 5km, 2 x 10k and one half marathon this fall. Good luck healing!
I love hearing this, Erin! That’s awesome that you are pain free. It gives me hope. It’s been really rough going from a 28m 5k post-due date to completely immobile. It’s hard to see that things will likely get better. So happy to hear that you’re back out there pain free!