“Are you still running?”
I field that question all the time. You probably do, too.
The answer, of course, is “yes.” But there’s so much more to the answer than this simple affirmation that I wish the questioning member of the general public could see. I don’t know exactly what they see but it’s probably along the lines of me walking out the door to log a solitary 30 minute run around my neighborhood. That’s not it. What I see is living life to the fullest, surrounded by my running family, my running village.
This is the rest that they don’t see:
The Running Village and Children
Sure, it takes a village to raise a child. In my case, it takes my village plus my running family. My youngest is almost 2.5 years old. The month of August marks 2 years that I’ve been training consistently (with scheduled down periods). My children have learned that mama trains on Wednesday evenings and for a two-hour period Saturday morning and won’t be home. The rest of my running happens early in the morning or while they nap in the afternoon. On Wednesdays and Saturdays, the kids are usually home with their father but when he’s tied up with work they are with another caregiver. This has helped them learn that other people love them and can take care of them just like their parents. That’s a valuable lesson. But even more valuable is the running family that has come to surround them.
My training team numbers 50 on an email list and about half of that at each practice. Many of us are tight with each other. Some of them are my very best friends and my sister. Through races, race weekends away, team parties and occasional appearances at running practice, my children have come to know my running team and that’s a beautiful thing.
My kids and I traveled to Antigonish with 18 members of our run team this summer. Most of us were staying together. I was a little hesitant to go along for the weekend. Like: what if folks aren’t crazy about two year old and four year old sidekicks. For a whole weekend away. I talked to a teammate who was coming, she said simply, “Of course you should bring the kids. They are part of our running family too.” It was that simple.
I did bring them and it was an awesome weekend away.
A number of collegiate runners train with us over the summer. My four year old’s very first crush is on one of these young guys. She adores him. He takes time to play with her at running events. She asks about him all the time. At events, she beelines to him and hangs off him. In Antigonish, she was only too happy to spend a weekend close to him.
My two year old loves to play with my teammates and my running coach. At our last BBQ, he cornered coach and herded him to a far away section of the yard so they could play alone. When I went to rescue Lee so that he could rejoin the adults at the BBQ, my child told me, “I busy with Lee. Go away, mommy.”
My teammates, especially the young female collegiate runners, are amazing role models for my children. We’ve been watching the Rio Olympics Games, especially track and field. I was excited to watch steeplechase. My daughter wanted to know what this was so I showed her a video of the women’s finals from the London Olympics. She was totally fascinated and laughed hysterically at each water jump. As it was ending, she wanted to know if one of the runners was Maddy, one of my teammates and her favorite “friends”. Maddy might not be an actual Olympian but in my little girl’s eyes, she is. That is an awesome role model.
This summer, my daughter and I were sitting on my front step and a male runner ran by.
“Look, a runner.” I said.
“No, that’s not a runner,” she said.
“Yes, that’s a runner.”
“No, mommy,” she said, “That’s a boy and boys don’t run fast.”
I’m not at all into supporting gender-based stereotypes. When people look at my children and comment on my son’s busy, active and often-mischievous behavior and say “he’s all boy!” I always correct them and say, “No, he’s a second child.” But this gender-based comment out of my young daughter’s mouth, based on her worldview and having a mother who can run fast therefore it’s girls who run fast; I can take it. It might offer her some protection from the stereotypes that society tries to push on her as she grows up, especially if she’s an athlete. And we did talk about the boys who she knows that can run very fast and how your gender doesn’t define your ability, your clothes or your toys.
As my daughter grows, she may or may not love running and that will be ok. She’s her own person and she will be supported in whatever sport or not-sport she chooses. For now, she loves to run because her mama and her role models do and that’s pretty awesome.
Living in the Village
My running family in my running village is good for my children. It’s also an awesome place for the grown-ups to live too.
My best friends train with my club and it’s our time together. With 12 children between 4 of us, we might not fit in a glass of wine on a weekend evening but at least a pair of us can almost always fit in a long run together.
Beyond my besties, it’s a vibrant and supportive group of fun and interesting people. We are invested in each other’s success, believe in each other and care about each other.
Races and race weekends are more than toeing the line and running to the finishing shute. They are about enjoying the experience, enjoying being out there together doing what we love together. They are about celebrating that we got the best out of ourselves after. And if the race didn’t go your way, it’s about your people telling you that it’s ok, you will live another day to try again.
Vacations are richer. My training-partner-sister and I were on vacation together last week on our home and native land of PEI. Beyond fun times and memories with my kids, our goals were to run in new and beautiful places and to sample as much Californian wine as we could in “preparation” for our trip to California with 8 of our teammates to run California International Marathon. Our runs were exhilarating along the stunning sand dunes and shoreline in the National Park; along red dirt roads; and through picturesque farm fields. The wine was a fun adventure. We even did our workout and long run with 5 other teammates who happen to be on PEI too. With runners together, vacation life was more full. More about #bettertogether here.
Prior to Natal Day Road Race, I wasn’t very excited about racing. I told one of my teammates, “I don’t like racing when I feel like I have to bring it.”
He said, “But Erin, you can bring it”
That was pretty much the end of me feeling unexcited.
We can do that for each other because the village is strong.
That’s so much more than:
“Are you still running?”
“Yes.”
