Sunday October 17 was PEI Marathon Weekend. The mere presence of this race was an accomplishment in our community’s COVID recovery. This is my race recap of my half marathon race. A hard race for me but a really meaningful race for me. As I said to the many amazing friends who texted or messaged me afterwards, our races aren’t all magnificent PB performances but they can be equally meaningful in other ways and this one was that.
Spoiler alert/jumping to the last page: My goals and race plan from Lee were to (1) win and (2) run a pb of sub1:26 and (3) run the huge 1:24PB that Coach Lee and I agreed that I was capable of. The day served up 33-36km/hr wind with gusts of 50km/hr. The conditions and a few other things ate my goals and I finished with a 1:29 and second place. That’s a tough day. But it was a day full of love and I wouldn’t trade it for anything
Here’s how it all went down.
I drove to the Island with Linda, Christy, Stephanie and Danielle and it was a glam-girls-trip done the Strong Women Athlete way. Maura was in her own car with her family. It was perfection.
We cheered Christy and Danielle to amazing PB first and second women performances in the Saturday 10km. The conditions were absolutely perfect. We wanted those conditions for Sunday too. Alas, it was not to be.
I told myself a few things before the race, Saturday afternoon, in the quiet of my parent’s home. I told myself: don’t overthink it. I know how to run. I know how to race. I trust myself. But! I don’t want to get too confident and in over my head with the big boys. I need to be careful of that. I need to run my own Big Bad Mama style which is aggressive but with years of race experience and tactics.My style has a smart start.
I promise myself that I will “hunt with the teeth I’ve got:” an ode to Laz of the Great Run Across Tennessee/Barkley Marathons and a beautiful piece he wrote this year, shared around by Doreen. You can read it here. My teeth are different from the big boy teeth but they can be just as sharp in the end.
I also told myself in advance, with uncertain conditions, that I would run with love in my heart. I had paid one final quick visit to my mentor/muse Salam Hashem during my shakeout run with Christy and Danielle. They had never met him or been inside his storied store and I was bursting with love to bring them there. I was pocketing that. My roots are PEI. I told myself I would run with my home and native land coursing through my veins. And also acknowledge that I am a settler on this land, a treaty person and this is the unceded Mi’kmaq territory of Mi’kma’ki. I always think of that more in forrst and on the trail and this race would have both.
I also spent the late morning/early afternoon on Saturday with my extended family, celebrating the coming arrival of my cousin’s baby. A morning full of love. With my family, we were talking about adorable things that our kids have said. My mother told this story about driving around the city with my then-2 year old daughter. They passed a construction crane. My daughter asked my mother, “Nana, is that how Cliff got to heaven?” I had brought home the bracelet that Cliff bought me in Kenya; it returned home with his luggage. I had not yet thought of Cliff on this Saturday so I pocketed this loving story too.
While all of this was unfolding, I had this one other special thing unfolding and this was playing a small role in helping my Road Hammer teammate Stephane Piccinin’s race. Stephane emailed me, telling me that he was working until 2pm on Saturday and could I get his bib for him. I was happy to do so. A few extra steps required to show proof of id and vaccine. We gathered those things. We made plans to meet before the race Sunday morning so I could get his bib to him. I also asked him if he wanted to do warm up with Ian and I and he did.
If you don’t know of the legend that is Stephane Piccinin, you can watch this beautiful CBC documentary about his journey to the 2019 Special Olympics World Summer Games here (Absolutely Canadian, S20, E29 “Champions.”). I asked Stephane if he was ok with being a guest star in this blog post and he has read it and says, “yes, that’s awesome!”
Race Day:
So yeah, race day served up the wind. And it had rained so the 6km trail section would be soft and wet.
I met Ian first and then Stephane and his father. Stephane was going to come with us for warm up. I told his father that we would return to this area afterwards. We ran the first 2km of the course- the wind was pretty wild. Michael and Jennie joined us for that last km. I asked Stephane if he knew Michael and Jennie? Michael says, “I know you! You stole my Kidston Crown (on strava)!” I tell Micheal that we are pretty sure Stephane will steal his crown today too. It’s happy runner camaraderie. I love it.
Stephane reunited with his father. We all do our drill and last minute neurotic things.
We get into the starting corral. I am looking for our Hammer women, Ally and Allison and LTM Erin L. Oh look, Ally is jumping up and down waving to me! So fun! Big thumbs up x 2. We got this, let’s go.
We line up. I tell Hammer teammate Eric Ryan that I have promised myself that I am not going out with him. A perfect 1st km coming up.
I pull Jennie onto the start line with me, “Jennie, this start line photo can’t have just one woman. Come up here.”
Gun goes. Let’s go.
1-6km
The start is so pretty. And downhill. And along the harbour at Victoria Park. I am pretty sure my split is going to pop up at 4:02/km. It pops up at 3:58. My training partner Michael Tunnah pulls up to me here, “excellent controlled first km” he says.
I am happy to see him. I know his race plan was just a few seconds per km slower than mine. I hope he will stick with me.
We stay together and work together. It’s my favorite way to run. We knock these kilometers off. I am determined to follow Lee’s race plan for me here. I know the course inside and out here. It’s where I grew up running.
There’s one young girl running out ahead of us and I tell Michael that we will catch her soon. I tell Michael that we are doing great. He says he has never run a half marathon at a pace like this before. I tell him to put that away: be confident.
I know that my amazing aunts are usually at 5.5km, just before you get on the trail at UPEI! Yay, there they are!! I am so buoyed by them, we catch the lead girl here and overtake her.
6-12.5km
We are now on the trail section. The first few trail kilometers are hard packed crusher dust, like at Point Pleasant. It’s not too bad here. I feel amazing, rolling strong, aiming for 4;02/km. I hit 10km in 40:46, exactly per Lee’s plan. I’m in a good head spot: “be strong, be fierce” are on repeat in my head. Michael was behind me, now next to me. I have one split a little slow at 4:08 as it included the water stop but the next two are 4:02 and 4:03. I am great.
And then I am not great. The trail transitions to red dirt trail. It’s soft and wet, like a sponge. I tell Michael, “it’s so soft….” We hit a water stop. I’m determined to have gatorade but I run by the gatorade. With COVID, we have to pick up the fluid from the table. I hard stop and go back for the gatorade. Michael effortlessly runs on. That’s the end of Erin and Michael.
There’s another guy here though. I lament about the softness of the trail to him as my pace slides and my effort starts to jack upwards. We are on quite an uphill section. It’s so hard. This is not good, Big Bad Mama. I tell myself it’s ok. I just need to get off this trail. I tell this guy, “We just need to get off this trail.”
Then, oh look: there’s an apple on the trail. I smile big. It’s a Doreen thing. It’s a smile and some runner love. But the suffer on the soft trail is multiplying and there’s only one apple.
The trail is so long. But it finally ends. I do a quick check behind me and see Jennie charging down the trial like an absolute boss.
12.5 to home.
So I’m off the trail but it’s a long climb to Brackley Point Road. “Now, must just get to Brackley Point Road”.
I get to Brackley Point Road and step directly into full force 50km/hr wind. It’s like a cartoon. The wind is determined to blow us back to Brackley Beach. I didn’t even start at Brackley Beach. Only the marathoners did.
I grind up the hill and into the intense wind and there’s a glimmer of awareness that the race goals are being blown away but I am mostly focused on: just grind this out. You don’t have to give up, Big Bad Mama. Don’t give up, even for a second”.
There’s a glimmer of awareness here too that my 5km training cycle hasn’t prepared me to grind it out in the wind, on the uphill soft trail and on the highway hills to come. Maybe one of those things. But not all three. But regardless, I will grind it out as you do- you just get the best out of yourself on the day, whatever the day is.
I run by Brandon and his fiance! Friends! Thank you! As soon as they say finish saying, “Go Erin”, they say “Go Jennie.” Now I know that Jennie is hot on me. I know with certainly and without giving up that she will catch me. It’s her day.
Jennie pulls up to me at about 15km. “I love hills!” she says. I tell her, “oh Jennie, this is your day, go and get it.”
We are together for about 1km but she pulls ahead on Sherwood Road, on the hills she loves. Me: I am full of Jennie love here. I have a soundtrack of the last 3 Star Wars films in my mind and I feel grateful to get to be here, to watch the Rise of Jennie Orr right in front of me. I helped pace Jennie to meet her Canadian Military Goals this summer. The student becomes the master and all that. Now she will help drag me to the finish with whatever is left.
I’m suffering hard here. These last 5km are into a relentless head wind. I keep moving forward. I have the Rise of Jennie happening ahead of me and I have my crane memory of Cliff inside me and I know that I will see my aunts Cathy and Gemma one last time.
In the last mile of the race, there are kid volunteers and I love this hard. I place all of my teen athletes and my own children in the cheers that they shout at me.
I get myself to the finish, hunting with the teeth I’ve got. And also I suppose, hunting with the weather I’ve got.
The first person I see is Stephane. He won! It’s jubilant! He says he is very happy. I have the nicest conversation with his father.
Then I watch my Strong Women Squad crush their marathon goals and it’s love.
Now I have another job to do. My Coach job. My Love Training More athlete Amy is in the marathon, out on the course and I’ve promised to pace her in. I’m a mess. I’m sore. I’m depleted. I am cold. I put on warm clothes, I fill my pockets with runner snacks and grab the Gatorade my mother always lovingly buys me when I come home. I keep moving forward and I set out on the course, walking. At first, I think I will just make it to 1km. I make it to 1km. I suppose I can walk out to 2km but I can’t go any farther than that because I don’t think I will actually be able to run back to this finish.
I wait for Amy. OH my heart, here she comes!! Arms in the air to greet me. I fall into step with her. She is powering forward but I can see that she has struggled in the conditions as well. She asks me to talk and I start blabbing all the stories of the day.
We get to a mile to go. I tell her that these are kid volunteers and they represent all the kids in her life too. Amy has talked on her social media about the death of her mother in July after a very short illness with cancer. I am saying lots of things to her.
Then Amy says, “can you pull me?” She reaches her hand out to me.
I grab her hand. Hand in hand, we run. I pull her along. I am continue to talk at her, pulling her along by the hand. The finish line is coming closer.
With about 200m to go, she says that I can let go. She can do it now.
She does it. A 4:16 marathon. A PB. Dedicated to her stepdaughter Cate: “I need to show her that you never have to give up” and to her beloved late mother.
I finish my coach morning catching up with Love Training More marathon stars Danielle and Sharon at the finish line who are glowing in that way that is only possible after running your heart out over 42.2km. I dash back out on the course in my coach car to catch Kim but she’s actually too fast, en route to a huge marathon PB on this hard, hard day. All the #proudcoach feelings are had.
Being out there with my teammates, with Stephane, witnessing Jennie’s win and that last mile with Amy where I was privileged to be both be there and be what she needed…. these were miles more important and more meaningful than my own performance. The weather may have huffed and puffed and blown Big Bad Mama’s race performance down but not the race experience. The wolf hunted with the teeth (and weather) she’s got. It was a weekend well spent and I am happy to have lived these athlete moments.
