August 8, 2021 was the Athletics Nova Scotia Club Championship- a track meet featuring all events, including a 5000m. My summer racing usually focuses on 5km because, I confess, I probably love it the most. Once your fitness is there, it’s an event that is so much about you- how fierce and fearless can you be? Plus you can rebound pretty quickly and get after another one, unlike the 21.1km and the full marathon. (Hang in, the story behind the airplane photo is coming).
This would be my second summer 5km. I ran an 18:38 at PEI’s Georgetown 5km event. I had been aiming for a little faster at that one but the many sharp turns and the 600m on the trail led to an 18:38. I was pleased with my execution at that one. So happy with the result. Now, 2 weeks later and with two more weeks of excellent training, I was hoping to be faster on the track.
There were some amusing moments in the lead up to the track. Coach Lee was away on his summer vacation. Lots of chatter among myself and the Road Hammer men who were racing the 5000: should we wear Nike Vaporfy’s, racing flats or spikes? I have been racing in spikes on the track for about 3 years but usually 1mile to 3000m. Not 5km. I ran my final workout on the track with Vaporflys and I hated them on the track. For me- the stack height is too high, the corners don’t feel right and I can’t feel the track underneath me. The gang doing the 5k are mostly Master’s athletes. So without Lee around to weigh in on this, we all decide to wear our track spikes. It’s amusing. Old fart runners left unsupervised. Put on track spikes.
Race weekend arrives. I have a final chat with excellent stand-in Coach Nick McBride of track stardom background for final prep. He says what I know he will say: be precise with even splits and be cautious to begin- the weather will be hot and humid.
I get the most lovely pre-race texts from Linda, Steph, Chrisy, Meaghan and Krista. I am ready to roll and ready to rep women.
See the entry list for this 5000m heat includes 13 men. Only 2 women. The other woman is a young university student, who I remember from her high school days. It’s suddenly more important that ever to me to race 5000m at the track. The meet is full of young people. We can’t have young athletes, male or female or any gender, looking at the 5000m start line, wondering why there are no women present. The 5000 is not just for men. Women need to be there.
Race Day:
I meet up with the Hammer crew of Greg W, Thomas, Tim, Johnny and Ian. Ian and I run warm up, precisely 17 minutes as per Diva-usual.
When I walk into the track, I spot Kevin, SMU Coach. We have known each other a long time from both Cliff Matthews days and high school coaching. I have this fond memory surface from my last indoor race of 2020, pre-COVID, where he said to me after, “you’ve still got it, Erin.” As I walk towards him, he says to me, “Cliff lives on.” I am wearing my Cliff’s Antiques singlet. It’s a nice moment. We have a chat about Cliff. I had run my shakeout around his grave the day before and I tell Kevin that I will email him my Garmin map as he would like to know where to find Cliff. I am buoyed by this. We also talk about the other female runner in the 5000 who is running with him at SMU. I have a nice little chat with her on the way to the bathroom.
I have another nice moment when I get lane sticker #1. Another long time coach friend Steve tells me that I should have number one and I am happy. He asks me about my number one goal. I riffle through a bunch of goal times, each he is responding. “NO!” to until I laughed and land on, “my number one goal is to have fun.” This is what Coach wanted. I thank him and it’s what I am thinking about as I line up. I am already having fun. I find track racing can be equal parts exhilarating and terrifying and I am on the fun/exhilarating side.
As we line up, we are told that new Athletics NS/Athletics Canada rules are no watches. At all. Like everyone must take their watch off. The start line is ruffled by this. I choose for it to be no matter. It’s like the weather- it just is. Where this is 5000m, we are staring at the 200m line and the clock is at the finish. The clock will now not match up with any of the splits that I have memorized. I put it away- my job is just to run and I can do that.At this point the weather is concerning actually. It rained on our warm up and the heat is now rising dramatically. I see from my watch that humidity was 91%. Ouch. Put that away too.
So without watches, the gun goes. I have Nick McBride mentally projected on the track. Pretend Nick will be disappointed with me if I hit 200 and 400m too fast. I hit them perfectly on my cautious goal first 400 pace (with a few slow steps coming into 200). Pretend Nick approves.
Mile 1: I don’t have much to report for the rest of the race. It’s a blur of relentless heat and my head was pretty blank, just focused on what I was doing. By 800m, I am a few seconds off my goal split. Same for 1km.
I am more off at 1 mile though I can’t hold onto the number. I am running the best I can with what I have on the track.
Mile 2: I know that I did mentally flip to race part 2 of 3 for the second mile. I have some very helpful things out there. My Strong Girl Squad is in the stands and they are SO HELPFUL! Christy, Meaghan, Krista, Maura and Lauren, thank you so immensely! I am running each lap and when I get to them, I use as little energy as possible to hold my pace and cue myself to pull their cheers and energy into my stride. Their energy becomes mine. Lauren is at the finish line, I reach her energy next.
Steve is standing at 200m, giving loud and clear splits. This is also amazing. I no longer recall anything beyond the 800m split but it’s so helpful. Thank you, Steve.
In this second mile, know that my girls were shouting: “you are very advanced!” A story originating with my strong and fierce 9 year old daughter and a mantra we adopted for Wednesday 6am sessions. I run like I am very advanced down the Strong Girl Squad Stretch. At one point I get to Steve at 200m and he orders me to run the next lap hard. Looking back, this is where I must have been fading. At the time, I simply do what Coach says.
Mile 3: I probably intended to have this 3rd section of my race but I don’t have many clear thoughts about how it went down. I know that I thought to myself, “Now Mamba” when it was 4 laps to go. Then I am confused by how many laps are left. The sign is different from what the lap counter is saying because I have been lapped by the lead guys. I think I have 800m to go but I have 1200m. I know that I never give up a single stride, even though I knew that I am off my goal pace. I push to finish this as fast and as fiercely as possible. When it’s 800m to go, I tell myself, “go that place, lean in a little more fearlesslesly than last time.” The evil part of my brain is screaming, “you can’t go now, 800 is too far, you’ll never make it!” I override it and do what I can.
I cross the line, 19:04.
Long period of hanging over the steeple barrier which is very handy to the finish line. Wow, that was hot and hard.
When I am ready, Ian is there. We walk over to my women. I go over what just happened.
My kids and I had been watching Olympic Athletics like it was our job. One of our favorite moments was the surprise upset win by Poland in the Mixed 4 x 400m relay. My kids were thrilled by the anchor’s singlet-over-the-head airplane victory celebration.
I had promised my kids that if I ran close to my 5km PB, I would do this. I had also told my women this.
As I walked to my women, I think to myself: sure, I didn’t run close to my 5km PB. But I showed up, executed this as well as I could, had fun, didn’t give up for a second. That’s a win, too. It’s not just about the clock.
So this:
I regroup with my friends via messages afterwards. I did not run my time goal. But COVID time-trialing is over. Now we have to show up and run the race in front of you, in the conditions offered…. solo…. no-watch rule….. whatever the road race course features etc: and aim to get the best out of yourself on the day. You take what the day gives you and you do your best. I did that.
Late afternoon, after my Master’s Athlete Track Spikes Adventure, I don’t feel too badly. I never really reached full power 5km pace. I see my photos. My form is there. It’s all there. I’m excited for the next crack at 5km.
Sunday is coaching day for me with Love Training More. I am mid-conversation with an athlete about managing racing: the stress, the reaction if it doesn’t go as planned, etc etc.
Part of what I say is this:
If someone were to look at your runner’s life, they may see your race results. Those are but a small piece of the running life. Over a training cycle, they are the final less than 25 minutes. It’s the journey along the way that makes up most of your runner’s life. Finding joy, sharing it with jokes and laughs and good people; those things both take longer and last longer than a final 25 minutes. We also get to choose how to think about our race performances and the minutes that make up the final minutes of the performance. 19:01 for me. For me, today, I chose to intentionally overlook the clock and to see what I did right as deserving of singlet-over-the-head airplane arms.
So let’s get after more airplane arm moments. Singlets over heads. For all of us.
